Words By: Jason Russo

Visionary singer, songwriter, and producer Lauren Auder has released her highly anticipated third EP titled 5 Songs For The Dysphoric.  These five songs are each a unique listening experience, with elements of pop, noise rock, classical, and hip hop infused into the melodies, instrumentation, and beats.  Auder worked with a wide range of producers on this EP, from Danny L Harle, notable producer for Charli XCX and Clairo, to Clams Casino who is best known for their hip hop production for Vince Staples and Lil B.  The EP is a perfect journey through the struggles of dysphoria and feeling disconnected from the world as a result of one’s body image, gender identity, or other dysphoric feelings.  Auder’s beautifully intimate lyrics coupled with her exquisite production make this one of the best and most important listens of 2021.

5 Songs For The Dysphoric begins like an alien spaceship taking off, with oscillating synths and strings slowly building up to Auder’s baritone voice coupled with simple piano chords in “Animal.”  The track centers around the worry that Auder or her feelings for the subject are “animal,” or somehow bad or evil.  “My hips and my ribs and their imperfections/Are holy now knowing that’s where your head laid/And that’s not animal,” she sings, continuously repeating that she is “not animal.”  Interestingly, the production on the track contrasts this idea as the song builds wonderfully to the repeated outro but feels like it lumbers along like a large animal.  This duality is perhaps a nod to the animal in all of us and our constant struggle with animalistic desires or tendencies.

Similarly to “Animal,” “Heathen” builds with incredible tension at its onset before cascading downwards into an electric guitar driven chorus.  The track is infectiously head-bopping, with a cinematic rock quality that perfectly captures Auder’s experience as a trans woman as well as an artist.  Auder sings that she has “been told not to dim my light by all those that i loved/although they can’t look into it when i leave it up,” which could have dual implications for her loved ones not respecting or understanding her art or her trans identity.  On a personal note, she sings that she has been “a heathen to my feelings, I’m surprised I’m still me” and that she blames no one for her life, both interesting ways of phrasing and approaching mental health and dysphoria.  Many people are “heathens to their feelings,” cruelly judging their thoughts or perceptions which can lead to great psychological damage and a loss of the true self, and this lyric can certainly speak to early struggles with the aptly named title of the EP. Of the track, she commented, “[“Heathen” is] my favourite song I’ve ever worked on.  [It’s about] longing for a test run before life proper. Learning to accept that all we get is a 9-month-long bomb shelter before you’re very much in the world.”

The video for “Heathen” is a cinematic yet jarring experience, with grim scenery surrounding Auder as she sings and gesticulates at the camera.  She walks fully clothed into a lake, around a bonfire, and gazes out car windows all while allowing her hair to fall across her face in an almost punk-rock fashion.  It’s the perfect accompaniment to the themes and the sound of the track and is yet another example of Auder’s incredible vision for her music and her art.

The third track, “Quiet” is the most hip-hop influenced track on the EP that most explicitly deals with Auder’s journey of discovering her trans identity.  From an interview with Imprint, she said of the track: “‘Quiet’ is the first song in a series that is significant in two ways. They are the first songs I wrote since coming out publicly, and therefore address this in ways I tended to mystify in the past — particularly the difficulty of human interaction, and the disappointments that inevitably arise when you are incapable of being seen as yourself. Naturally, these songs called for an opening-up in my songwriting process. Thus they are also the first songs that I allowed myself to work in more varied and collaborative ways than I have before.”

“Small Ghosts” equally channels “Quiet”’s hip-hop production with “Heathen”’s rock influences, as the chorus crashes around themes of the paranormal and being haunted.  It features one of the most incredible lyrics on the EP: “I feel a small hand in mine/Such a long haunt from small ghosts.”  It conjures such a specifically powerful visual that resonates so well with the many themes of the project.  5 Songs For The Dysphoric ends with “Unseen” which features British singer Celeste.  It is a powerful duet that complements many of the ideas of “Quiet” through the experience of feeling like the true you is “unseen” or hidden from everyone else.  The production is starkly different from the rest of the EP, with background saxophones giving it an almost jazzy feeling.  It is an excellent ending with a synth solo guiding us out of the experience and leaving the heavy thoughts of the EP firmly planted in our minds.

Lauren Auder is one of the most boundary defying avant-garde artists of our time.  Her sound is certainly in the pop universe, but it is hard not to call it rock or symphonic or even hip-hop, as well.  Her two previous EP’s, Who Carry’s You and two caves in were released with immense critical acclaim, especially her breakaway track “june 14^th” which were the strongest displays of Auder’s immensely powerful lyricism and entrancing sound.  Her success has found her working on fashion campaigns with Gucci and Heidi Slimane as well as touring with Christine and the Queens and Amen Dunes.  5 Songs For The Dysphoric is one of the most powerful and important listens of the year so far.  Be sure to stay tuned for more from Lauren Auder!

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